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Saturday, October 26, 2013

50 shades of gay

I've been sort of busy lately. Oh well! How are you, you sexy little weirdos? Are you getting your squirrely bits all good and sloppy? Taking the purple-helmeted warrior out to battle? Just make sure to stow away some time for big things, whatever your big things are. It's scary spooky season. Do creepy things. Make someone uncomfortable. Go ahead.

I think it's so bizarre that people don't notice the things I notice. I mean, it's not like it's hard or anything. They're right there. Staring you in the face. All the time. How could you miss them? When I talk to people, they remember me. It's not that I'm really all that memorable, but what I say is. When I point out, for example, how more and more gender roles are being reversed these days, people start to look at things in a different light. Kind of like you're doing right now. Just look how many guys wear girl clothes when given even the flimsiest pretenses to do so. Or girls who outdrink men and quite literally kick their asses. Need more? Fine. Guys ordering traditionally girly food like salads and fruit cups while out to eat with chicks who order traditionally manly food like a bacon double cheeseburger or a big bloody steak.. Guys whining like little bitches about their emotions and broken-hearts. Women who don't want to be serenaded, but fucked, hard. Guys pussing out, leaving their girls to stand up for them. The roles have switched. Most women are more manly than most of these annoying little pricks. I personally love that women are way more badass today than they ever were before. Hell yeah, girls! Bring it on!

And guys, please shut the fuck up and grow a pair. Quit being so goddamn insecure or I'm going to kick you in the fucking nuts. I'm more of a man in my 110 lbs of skin and bone than you 250 pound bodybuilding bitches.

Generally when I speak like this in public, at least one guy tries to stand up for himself. So I challenge him to a fight, and he makes excuses and tries to back away. This is when I start insulting his whore of a mother and his puny little penis. Still nothing. I'll push him, throw shit at him and still he refuses to fight. Have you seen me? I look like someone your grandmother could take. These guys who completely outmatch me are too scared to prove it. Know why? Because inside they are nothing but scared little children looking for a mother in a lover. I'm a man, and I want a woman as my equal.

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