Total Pageviews

Monday, August 24, 2015

Meta-Normies

I've been thinking up new words for people who are like normies but in a bigger sense. Normies are dull, small-minded, cowards who entrench themselves in the titanic fog of the mundane. Choosing anonymity over self-expression. But there's another level to this. An upper echelon of ignorance. The main (and easiest) way to spot them is by their false belief that people of the past were any less intelligent than people are now. They love to look at random (usually incorrect on some level) events from history and pass judgement on the people who lived during that time. Before the discovery of germs, nobody really used soap. The Earth does seem pretty fucking flat from most places. A lot of these since debunked commonly held "truths" turned out to be wrong. That doesn't make them any dumber than you. They simply did not have that knowledge available to them. When someone (or multiple people working together) figured this crap out, it was then given to you on a silver fucking platter. So of course it seems like common sense to you. You've known it all of your life. But it's not like you figured that shit out on your own. If you were alive during these eras, you would most likely have believed the same wrong crap as everyone else.

Most of you believe marriage is all about love. This is what you've been told all of your life. You grew up watching animated movies devoted to the shit. You harbor unattainable expectations about love and marriage because that is what you were fed. Hate to break it to you, but all that true love, endless joy, happily ever after nonsense is a load of bullshit. Marriage has only extremely recently become a matter of "love." (Whatever that is.) I won't go into the history of love now because it will take to fucking long and you assholes can easily push a few buttons and find it yourself.

People have been at roughly the same intelligence level since the dawn of modern man. It's our knowledge that has had a substantial boon over time, not our overall intelligence level. We have gotten smarter, but only marginally so.

This is a series. There more of these. And they have millions of views. Tell me now how much 
smarter we are now than we were in the past.

And because I still don't believe you get it. Those highlighted words up there, are a link. You click them and it takes you to a video. You move your mouse cursor over the highlighted words. You push the left mouse button down.

Tell me now how much smarter we are.

Sunday, August 9, 2015

Workin as a waitress... in a cocktail baaaAAAAaaaAaAar

Alright. So basically there is this big fuckin place with a ton of shit on it. All kinds of shit. Shit that moves around and does stuff. Shit that just sits there. Useful shit. Entertaining shit. Cute shit. Weird shit. Hard shit. Liquid shit. Shit gas. All the kinds of shit you can imagine. And the one thing all this shit has in common is that it is all beautiful and special in it's own way. Which is nice.

The problem is that there is one very specific little type of turd that hates itself and wants to make itself as miserable as possible. We call these miserable fucks Human Beans. These bean people hate feeling happy and safe. They don't want to be loved. They just want the other bean poles to violate and abuse them. This is stupid.

So what I do is V simple. I go around fucking with the leguminous monsters. I come under the guise of a great and powerful destructor and all beans from fillet to romano worship my awesome might and prolific grandeur. I break them from the inside out. I corrupt their worldview. I sodomize their static perspectives and piss all over their crinkled brain sacks. After that, I trick them. It's easy. They don't even see it coming. I trick them into noticing the pulchritude within them and this big fuckin place full of shit. I get them to love themselves, the dirtball, and all the dumb shit on it.

And that's it. All done.

Click this if you are sexy.

Update* The government is probably following my every move and systematically destroying everything that brings me joy in this craptastic excuse for a country because the video/song this was named after was just removed. Now the title makes no sense! It barely made sense in the first place!

I know you're watching me, Government! I know you know how much I love jerking off. Let me enjoy the things I enjoy. Quit fucking with the system you yourselves put in place. Media exists to quell the anarchistic chaos-driven malintent notions within us before they can substantiate themselves in reality. I get that. I don't care. I'm not trying to start a revolution. I'm just an asshole. Now give me back my stupid videos, the rest of my Fleetwood Mac, more Cramps, allow someone to upload a good quality version of Bladerunner to Youtube, and let me continue to jerk off both literally and figuratively.

In lieu of this current dilemma, watch this instead. It actually makes more sense (which I despise)

Thank you

PS I'm sorry your job sucks and you're paid to creep on and make strangers sad. That blows.