Wednesday, March 27, 2019
Dreams Of A Tired Man
Sitting there, alone on a bench at the far edge of the boards, he liked to stare out into the endlessness of the cloudy shores. He would look across barren sands to the place where the ocean should be. An impenetrable fog obscuring all visual evidence of the aquatic world. He would imagine the scene extending out not just in front, but enveloping him on all sides. A speck of life in a circle of flat sand and thick fog. With nothing around him save for the gentle roar of waves and the intermittent cries of seagulls. Devoid of the bustling noise and rush of life. Images of sailing these enshrouded waters or floating gracefully through the air, disappearing into the faded nothingness, flitter briefly through his head. It's in this barren landscape of dreams that he is truly happy, if only for a moment.
Monday, March 25, 2019
The Order: A Wonderful Shitshow
So I just finished watching season one of The Order on Netflix and boy do I have a lot to say.
I specifically put it on BECAUSE it looked cheesy and ham-fisted, but also mildly interesting enough to be watchable as I fell asleep. I ended up riding this roller-coaster of ridiculous plot twists and superbly unaware dialogue all night.
First of all, every single character in this show is brain dead. It's forgivable for most of the cast because they're supposed to be college freshmen and sophomores. Kids are dumb. That is something I can believe. What I can't believe is how the same gullibility and obliviousness extends to even the elder and wiser characters. I found myself constantly yelling, "You're in your forties! How are you just as dumb as these 18 years olds!" to the older cast. Even better is when the students are in their actual classes. Suddenly Mr. Can't Do Basic Math is rolling up into ethics class like Socrates for his morning lecture. He's spouting off highly intelligent responses to his professors on the fly. Then once out of class, continues being his mindless self.
The core of the show is about secret societies yet not one person has even the slightest modicum of discretion. They are publicly, loudly talking about secret supernatural rituals and shit. And when I say publicly, I don't just mean outside, in a semi-secluded spot. I mean two people screaming back and forth to each other about hearing the sound of magic and going to the temple. Meanwhile there's a guy sat right between them on his laptop hearing every word. As they slam the door on their way out of that scene, you can see him start to look over just before the camera cut.
LIKE LOOK AT THEM! They're openly talking about magic and secret temples with mad people sitting not 3 feet away.
It's insane how bad everyone is at pretending to be coy. Their attempts at coded speech that sounds like normal conversation is laughable. And it's not the actor's fault. In fact, I loved most of the cast. I think they did the best with what they were given. It was the script that was cringe-worthy. Idk how the actors were able to deliver those lines as well as they did. And it was also the directing. As I've already stated, there were absolutely too many scenes of people talking about things they shouldn't talk about in places they shouldn't talk about them. Everything was just a bit too on the nose. And characters you're supposed to sympathize with at some level just come off as total, sociopathic assholes.
So the main character kind of looks like a hybrid between my friend Jeff and Kevin Bacon. He's a textbook Mary-sue. He comes from nothing, is nobody, and yet is also the most everything person. He's smarter academically, street-wise, stronger, nobler, more charismatic, more moral, more selfless, more diven, etc than anyone else. He's the magical-realism version of Luke Skywalker.
Somehow, despite all that, I liked the kid. I empathized with his crazy predicaments. I yelled at him constantly for being a blind idiot. I was genuinely surprised by words and decisions. He was just a lot of fun, even if his character was wholly unbelievable.
Despite it's constant failings, the show is uncannily self-aware at times. It pokes fun at itself. It even vocalizes many of the criticisms I've stated in its own dialogue. There are many legitimate payoffs. The bulk of the show lowered my expectations, making those payoffs stand out that much more.
Overall I'd say it's a mix of Supernatural, Twilight, The Magicians (TV series), and 90210. If that's your bag, you're going to have fun with this show. It's enjoyably bad when it's bad, interesting enough when it's good, and surprisingly accurate at times when displaying how actual college students would act.
The characters are distinctive and likable. Even the bad ones. The season had a solid story arc. With the MC discovering a hidden world while also establishing the setting of that world. Then coalescing into a final goal and a need to prevent it.
I enjoyed the art direction, the wardrobe, and the sets. Some shots looked good enough to be framed on my wall. The segments on ethics felt a bit shoe-horned, but not overly pandering.
The female lead was absolutely too charming. I loved her almost immediately. The scenes where you can tell she believes and admires her mentors as they just use her were heartbreaking. Those scenes especially messed me up because she exuded this naive, hopeful desire to be praised by those she looks up to so incredibly well. Like watching a beaming child show off their perfect report card to a parent that couldn't care less.
The best friend was the kind of kid you instantly like. The harmless, goofy idiot. A bit tropey, but honestly that goes for the rest of the cast. Despite that, they owned their parts. I seriously can't give enough praise to the actors for keeping a straight face through some of these lines.
Before I go, I will leave you with this series of pictures I feel best describe the show and a rating of a jar of pickle spears.
I specifically put it on BECAUSE it looked cheesy and ham-fisted, but also mildly interesting enough to be watchable as I fell asleep. I ended up riding this roller-coaster of ridiculous plot twists and superbly unaware dialogue all night.
First of all, every single character in this show is brain dead. It's forgivable for most of the cast because they're supposed to be college freshmen and sophomores. Kids are dumb. That is something I can believe. What I can't believe is how the same gullibility and obliviousness extends to even the elder and wiser characters. I found myself constantly yelling, "You're in your forties! How are you just as dumb as these 18 years olds!" to the older cast. Even better is when the students are in their actual classes. Suddenly Mr. Can't Do Basic Math is rolling up into ethics class like Socrates for his morning lecture. He's spouting off highly intelligent responses to his professors on the fly. Then once out of class, continues being his mindless self.
The core of the show is about secret societies yet not one person has even the slightest modicum of discretion. They are publicly, loudly talking about secret supernatural rituals and shit. And when I say publicly, I don't just mean outside, in a semi-secluded spot. I mean two people screaming back and forth to each other about hearing the sound of magic and going to the temple. Meanwhile there's a guy sat right between them on his laptop hearing every word. As they slam the door on their way out of that scene, you can see him start to look over just before the camera cut.
It's insane how bad everyone is at pretending to be coy. Their attempts at coded speech that sounds like normal conversation is laughable. And it's not the actor's fault. In fact, I loved most of the cast. I think they did the best with what they were given. It was the script that was cringe-worthy. Idk how the actors were able to deliver those lines as well as they did. And it was also the directing. As I've already stated, there were absolutely too many scenes of people talking about things they shouldn't talk about in places they shouldn't talk about them. Everything was just a bit too on the nose. And characters you're supposed to sympathize with at some level just come off as total, sociopathic assholes.
So the main character kind of looks like a hybrid between my friend Jeff and Kevin Bacon. He's a textbook Mary-sue. He comes from nothing, is nobody, and yet is also the most everything person. He's smarter academically, street-wise, stronger, nobler, more charismatic, more moral, more selfless, more diven, etc than anyone else. He's the magical-realism version of Luke Skywalker.
Somehow, despite all that, I liked the kid. I empathized with his crazy predicaments. I yelled at him constantly for being a blind idiot. I was genuinely surprised by words and decisions. He was just a lot of fun, even if his character was wholly unbelievable.
Despite it's constant failings, the show is uncannily self-aware at times. It pokes fun at itself. It even vocalizes many of the criticisms I've stated in its own dialogue. There are many legitimate payoffs. The bulk of the show lowered my expectations, making those payoffs stand out that much more.
Overall I'd say it's a mix of Supernatural, Twilight, The Magicians (TV series), and 90210. If that's your bag, you're going to have fun with this show. It's enjoyably bad when it's bad, interesting enough when it's good, and surprisingly accurate at times when displaying how actual college students would act.
The characters are distinctive and likable. Even the bad ones. The season had a solid story arc. With the MC discovering a hidden world while also establishing the setting of that world. Then coalescing into a final goal and a need to prevent it.
I enjoyed the art direction, the wardrobe, and the sets. Some shots looked good enough to be framed on my wall. The segments on ethics felt a bit shoe-horned, but not overly pandering.
The female lead was absolutely too charming. I loved her almost immediately. The scenes where you can tell she believes and admires her mentors as they just use her were heartbreaking. Those scenes especially messed me up because she exuded this naive, hopeful desire to be praised by those she looks up to so incredibly well. Like watching a beaming child show off their perfect report card to a parent that couldn't care less.
The best friend was the kind of kid you instantly like. The harmless, goofy idiot. A bit tropey, but honestly that goes for the rest of the cast. Despite that, they owned their parts. I seriously can't give enough praise to the actors for keeping a straight face through some of these lines.
Before I go, I will leave you with this series of pictures I feel best describe the show and a rating of a jar of pickle spears.
Monday, March 11, 2019
And I Still Love You
You treated me like I was less than human. You lied to me constantly. You told me millions of things about yourself while still hiding so much away. You kept me around like a crutch to be leaned on, a tool to be used, a blanket of reassurance.
You told me I was wrong for suspecting this all along. You told me you were nothing but open and honest. You said I was crazy for thinking otherwise; and I believed you. Not just because I wanted to believe you, but because I have a history of mental illness.
You knew this. You knew what a sensitive issue it was for me. You knew how much I trusted you and valued your opinion. You knew this and you turned it into a weapon. You made me doubt my own thoughts and emotions. You made me afraid. Of myself, and of unintentionally hurting you. You invalidated my thoughts and kept me around as a pet.
I gave everything I had to you. You were the center of my universe. Simply being next to you was more than I could ever hope for. I've never felt such contentment. love, or happiness before or since.
And when I ended it, you doubled down on your lies. Not even when the pin of reality came down, and popped the idyllic bubble I was living in, did you finally admit the truth. You just lied more. Manipulated more. Gaslighted more.
My world came crashing down around me and you told me it was all in my head. You made it sound like I could never deserve someone as amazing as you. That you kept me around out of pity. You started acting like being with me was an act of charity and you should be awarded for your saintly actions.
You told me I was insane. That I needed help. That you were worried about me. You made it sound so convincing. I wanted to believe you. I was ready to accept lunacy if that meant what we had was real. You almost had me believing you. After all, I must be insane if while I see you doing all of this to me, I still love you. In spite of the overwhelming evidence of your abuse and my need to leave, I still loved you. Can you understand the pain of pouring every bit of your love into someone, only to hear them respond that they've never felt so empty?
Years and years pass. I saw a therapist for a while. She assured me that I acted rationally, have not been a danger to anyone or myself.
I knew all that already.
Yet part of me still hoped I was crazy. I wanted it. At least then she could still be the girl I saw her as. Not the girl who moved on in less than a day, the emotional abuser, the compulsive liar, the serial cheater, the girl who destroyed my life...
I only wish that after all this time, and everything you've done, that I could just please stop loving you.
You told me I was wrong for suspecting this all along. You told me you were nothing but open and honest. You said I was crazy for thinking otherwise; and I believed you. Not just because I wanted to believe you, but because I have a history of mental illness.
You knew this. You knew what a sensitive issue it was for me. You knew how much I trusted you and valued your opinion. You knew this and you turned it into a weapon. You made me doubt my own thoughts and emotions. You made me afraid. Of myself, and of unintentionally hurting you. You invalidated my thoughts and kept me around as a pet.
I gave everything I had to you. You were the center of my universe. Simply being next to you was more than I could ever hope for. I've never felt such contentment. love, or happiness before or since.
And when I ended it, you doubled down on your lies. Not even when the pin of reality came down, and popped the idyllic bubble I was living in, did you finally admit the truth. You just lied more. Manipulated more. Gaslighted more.
My world came crashing down around me and you told me it was all in my head. You made it sound like I could never deserve someone as amazing as you. That you kept me around out of pity. You started acting like being with me was an act of charity and you should be awarded for your saintly actions.
You told me I was insane. That I needed help. That you were worried about me. You made it sound so convincing. I wanted to believe you. I was ready to accept lunacy if that meant what we had was real. You almost had me believing you. After all, I must be insane if while I see you doing all of this to me, I still love you. In spite of the overwhelming evidence of your abuse and my need to leave, I still loved you. Can you understand the pain of pouring every bit of your love into someone, only to hear them respond that they've never felt so empty?
Years and years pass. I saw a therapist for a while. She assured me that I acted rationally, have not been a danger to anyone or myself.
I knew all that already.
Yet part of me still hoped I was crazy. I wanted it. At least then she could still be the girl I saw her as. Not the girl who moved on in less than a day, the emotional abuser, the compulsive liar, the serial cheater, the girl who destroyed my life...
I only wish that after all this time, and everything you've done, that I could just please stop loving you.
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