The Urge

I have this urge, pretty much all of the time, and it takes every bit of mental strength to keep it at bay. It is to completely destroy everything around me. It's that constant prodding of chaos in wait. I wouldn't actually call the urge a desire to destroy insofar as I would categorize it as the craving for experimentation. You see, in every situation there is a prescribed approved methodology for handling it. Suffice to say, there is a question, and there is a small spectrum or reasonable answers. Or, better yet, there is a problem, and there are sets of procedures commonly followed in order to alleviate the problem. The only exceptions are problems with no clear solution. That's the only time average people will think and play with new solutions. Hiccups, nosebleeds, and the common cold are prime examples. Think of all the harebrained cures we try in those situations.

But, for everything else, like the apes we are, we watch and learn. It is part of growing up, I suppose. Children are most immune to this socialized way of thinking. They have simply not yet been taught the proper way to think. Personally, I despise the proper way of thinking. I WANT CHANGE! I want to see people doing things differently for once. Break down those rigid walls and start something new already! This is my all-consuming urge. I want to do things just because I want to know what will happen if I do. I'm too fucking creative for my own good and this life has no re-dos. When I take a step out of the box, I risk enduring its negative consequences. Consequences I am not sure I want to reap. But, FUCK, I want to know! I play a little with the rules at the time of this writing, but there is still so much more I could do. I do not know how long I can keep this beast at bay. I just want to play. I want to learn. Why is everyone so serious all the time? Don't they understand what is going on? Can't I help them? Should I?