I sometimes wonder about you... if you're happy. And I don't mean happy as in doing okay. I mean happy as in walking on sunshine. I've felt that happiness once. I always hated those types of songs, but there was a time, not long ago when I was that happy. When, for the first time in my life, I heard songs like that and finally understood what they met; really felt it. I'll never forget what that was like, and it was you who gave that to me. So I wish you that, and so much more. Even after all that has happened.
It was Catallus 85 that made me think of you.
Translated it reads:
I love and I hate. Why do I? You may well ask.
I do not know. But I feel and it tortures me.