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Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Disemelevatored

Whenever someone is kind, generous, or helpful to me, my immediate reaction is WHAT ARE YOU AFTER, YOU MANIPULATING PIECE OF SHIT?! WHAT'S YOUR ENDGAME HERE?!

FUCK WITH ME AND I WILL STRIKE BACK WITH SUCH RIGHTEOUS VENGEANCE THAT THE NATIONS WILL KNOW THEMSELVES TO BE BUT MEN! THE SKY WILL CRACK OPEN AND MOUNTAINS WILL CRUMBLE IN MY WAKE! THE WHOLE OF HUMANITY WILL TREMBLE IN WIDE-EYED FEAR AT THE MENTION OF MY NAME!

I WILL DO THINGS TO YOU THAT WILL RUIN THE REST OF YOUR NATURAL EXISTENCE!

RWOOOOAAAAAAAGHGHGHGGG!!!!!!
GYUUUUUOOOOOOUOUOUOUGHGG!
AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!


or whatever.






In other news, I've been trying to be more sociable lately.
And by sociable, I mean saying exactly what I need to say to get people to not want to talk to me anymore but not dislike me in any way.

It's going well.


Another large glob of protoplasmic jelly falls from his atrophied form and hits the floor with a loud smack. A faint sucking sound can be heard as the pressure equalizes at the rapid loss of glia and axons. Processes halted, stimuli undigested, aneurystic  insect eyes seeking sugar and light in a young boy's virgin cavities and burn cherry-red with pent up desires.

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