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Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Nostalgic as fuck

Before I had constant access to the internet, a place to sleep every night, and people who wanted me around, I'd occasionally write. Not like this, of course. Just tid bits here and there. Then I began writing lyrics. That was the first outlet for my thoughts. Sometimes I look back through my papers; through myselves. I still surprise myself.

Here are a few excerpts that made me smile:


Her breath on my neck
the smell in the air
the feeling that could never be true

It'll never last, but at least I can try
to make part of you happy, while part of me dies.


It's in faults that you find beauty
and in death you find new life
It's in the cuts that run so deep
you carry for the rest of your life.


Did you ever want something to never end?
To last forever, no matter how it hurt?
A moment of pure love and pure pain
To see things through their lives
Walk with them through their problems
and in a sense, be them

I feel that way now as I've felt that way before
so many times of sorrow and fear
sitting in my room with paper and pen
listening to the tunes of my greatest heroes
I sit alone as I've always been

As the CDs change, I feel the same
that feeling never seems to go away
music can only mask my fears
to bear my soul and face the tears

lovestruck as I always seem to be
when she's with me all words dissipate
all hate and sadness become nothing but a memory
yet it all seems to return when I say goodbye

As I sing this song, I face my fears
to show you how I really feel when you're gone
So you can see the lonely dark place I go
bereft of everything but silence.


This is taking too long. I'm tired. More later maybe.

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